He's back
by Slappen the Bass
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha returnes to Kohona after killing his brother and Orochimaru, only to find the village has changed, and so has a certian blond. SasuNaru, M for safety
1. Chapter 1

Naruto sighed in contentment. It was a beautiful day in Konoha. Sun glimmering through blossoming tree tops, birds singing there melodic song, yes it was a perfect day to be on leave….

"NARUTO GET YOUR LAZY ASS DOWN HERE!"

Unfortunately, he was not. Growling in exasperation, Naruto slid down from his perch on a blossoming cherry tree and joined his team. Sakura stood with her hands on her hips. She had filled out nicely over the years, and let her hair grow a little past her shoulders though she usually through it up into a high ponytail, claiming that it was too bothersome to keep down. Jade green eyes sparkled with annoyance and the tiniest bit of amusement.

"Sakura-chan I was just up there saving a cute little fox from getting eaten by a bea-"

"Oh cut it, seriously your excuses are getting worse and worse. Kakashi is rotting your brain."

"What brain?" Sai chimed in, a creepy smile curving on his lips "His brain is about the size of his dick, which is to say non-existent."

"Shut the hell up Sai before I take that paint brush of yours and shove it up your-"

"Ma ma, enough of your lovers spat," Kakashi interrupted ignoring the blonde's shriek of "We are not lovers!" "Let's just report to the Hokage and get this mission"

Naruto huffed and looked to the side, pouting. He had grown as well. Golden hair spiked softly, and several strands hung loosely about tan, scarred checks. He was a bit short, though he'd never admit it, and had a wispy but strong build. Stunning electric blue eyes were edged by long blond eye-lashes.

"Can we please get a move on? I got things to do and people to see," said Sakura, flicking a rouge hair from her face.

And with that Team 7 set off to the tower, unwitting of the dark eyes watching them.

Tsunade was _not _having a good day. She not only had two huge piles of paper work but also was on her last sake bottle. "This isn't nearly enough to get me drunk." She sighed; this is going to be a long day…

Shizune walked into the room adding to the ever growing pile of paper work "Tsunade-sama, Team 7 is on there way up and these," she pointed to the newly piled paper work "need to be signed by the end of the day."

Tsunade growled and glared at the paper work, after determining that glareing would not make them burst into flames she turned her gaze to Shizune.

"Did you get my sake?" she asked, her golden eyes gleaming.

The dark haired woman sighed before turning on her heal and leaving the room, only to return with several bottle laden bags, "Will that be all, Hokage-sama?"

Tsunade nodded and waved her hand flippantly, clearly dismissing. She cradled the sake and made soft cooing noises, before lovingly opening the bottle and, bypassing the cup, downed half the bottle.

"Your liver is going to turn to mush one day and I will not be the one to donate a replacement Baa-chan." Naruto stated, waltzing into to the room with the rest of his team following.

"Hey, who's the legendary medical nin here? I can handle myself brat!" Tsunade spat, placing the bottle delicately on one of the many papers that littered to polished wood of her desk.

"What is your reason for calling us Tsunade-sama?" asked Sakura, growing tired of the shenanigans of her team mate and leader.

Tsunade suddenly grew serious, "There have been sightings of Sasuke Uchiha near Konoha" Naruto and Sakura stiffened "I want you four to go and search the perimeter, and report back to me in two hours, if you find Uchiha take him down, I want him here dead or alive. Go."

Team 7 was through the window in a matter of seconds, "Sakura, you take the west wall." Kakashi ordered, Sakura nodded and bonded off to her destination.

"Sai, the east wall." Sai smiled and ran to the east.

"I'll take the south wall. Naruto, you take the north," Kakashi said "and be careful" and he was gone.

Sasuke Uchiha watched as Naruto sprinted off into the opposite direction. "There you are, Dobe." He smirked and, careful to avoid Kakashi, followed the blond.


	2. Chapter 2

Un-betaed…………… you have been warned *cackles*

So last chapter… not so good. I re-read it and if I were you guys I woulda been like "FUCK THIS STORY!!" but you came back so thanks for that . I'll attempt to make the story flow better from now on. Tell me if there are any mistakes! Constructive criticism welcomed. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I do own a chia pet, does that count?

* * *

Naruto bounded along the top of the houses and apartment buildings along the north wall, sharp eyes scanning the area as he ran. Spotting something in the distance, he increased his speed, blond hair streaming wildly behind him. 'He's here' Naruto thought, 'He's back, and I'll be damned if he gets away from me again!'

Naruto had scanned the whole north side of the village with no luck. Frustrated and tired he plopped down on top of an apartment building to rest, his mind racing. "Why now? He finished off Itachi and snake-bastard a wile ago," Naruto asked, remembering the details of the killings perfectly, both died swiftly and efficiently, barely any blood. "If he wanted to come home why not after he finished them off, instead of waiting two or three years?" Naruto sat pensively for a while before he stood sighing in annoyance; he had searched high and low for Sasuke and hadn't had any luck, so he decided to use his last resort.

"Well I didn't want to have to do this, but…" Drawing in a deep breath, Naruto spread his chakra out over the village, searching for a hint of Sasuke's signature. His chakra spread like a blanket over the village bringing a gental hum of power. The jutsu slowly depleaded his chakra reserves. He searched sweating profusely, His face screwed up in consintration. He serched for what seemed like ages beforw his efforts were rewarded when the chakra brushed up against a gnarled oak tree, merely twenty yards from where he was standing. A strong chakra signature he immediately identified as Sasuke's was moving fast in his direction. Naruto quickly broke off the jutsu trying to lose as little chakra as possible and feeling the drain that it had caused him.

'I can hardly move' Naruto thought, panicked.

"Dobe."

Naruto whirled around, before taking a sharp intake of breath and falling to his knees, the jutsu was one of his own design and had drained him considerably, leaving him a sitting duck.

* * *

Sasuke watched as Naruto stood from his perch on the roof, and began to execute a strange jutsu he had never seen before.

"What the hell is he doing?" Sasuke asked. His questions were soon answered when he felt the brushing of Naruto's chakra.

Realizing he was caught and his chances for a dramatic surprise entrance were ruined, Sasuke leaped the short distance between his tree and the roof Naruto was currently draining himself on.

"Dobe."

Sasuke watched as Naruto whipped around just before falling to his knees, obviously worse for wear. Sasuke smirked, the dobe had actually used up most of his chakra with that little stunt, this would be easier than he though

Naruto stared at Sasuke, the man before him was not the same man he had met at Orochimarus's hide-out. This Sasuke was taller with his hair fashioned into the same stile but the bangs were longer framing a flawlessly pale face. He had a strong chin, but remained lithe. His coal black eyes held something unreadable, not threating nor welcoming.

All and all Sasuke Uchiha was the most hansome man Naruto had ever seen in his life.

Willing down his blush and scolding himself for making observations like that at a time like this, Naruto watched as Sasuke advanced on him.

* * *

Kakashi frowned as he headed twords the north wall, Sai and Sakura in toe. Naruto was still not back, granted he had another fifteen minutes or so but he had also felt the blond's chakra washing over him while he was searching and was beginning to become worried. He looked over at the rest of his team. Sakura was tight-lipped and fidgety she obviously wanted to find Sasuke and was worried for Naruto. Sai, however,just stood there with is same creepy grin, though it seemed even more forced.

They felt a strange presence in the air and picked up their pace, breaking into a run towards the blonds weakened chakra reading.

* * *

Sasuke stoped in front of Naruto and , much to the blonds surprise and anger, picked Naruto up and through him over his sholder. 'I need him alone for this' Sasuke thought 'and I can feel Kakashi coming this way.'

"TEME! Just what the _fuck _do you think you're doing?! Put me down or, so help me- AAAYEEEEEEEEEEE!" the blond screamed, in a rather girlish manor as Sasuke leaped form the apartment building into the trees. Sasuke winced as the blond struggled wildly, kicking him hard in the twice before the older man dropped Naruto on the leafy ground.

"Would you give it a rest dobe." Sasuke said emotionlessly.

"I will not give it a rest you bastard! What the fuck are you doing here!?!?" Screamed an irate blond while he shakily got to his feet.

"I came back" stated the Uchiha simply as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

Naruto growled and through a punch at Sasuke which was easly dodged. The blond panted feeling the drain of his jutsu, he was in serious trouble. He couldn't even draw upon his own chakra, the only thing keeping him from passing out was the chakra of the Kyuubi and the use of that could damage his cells with none of his chakra to cushion it.

"What do you want?" Naruto demanded gruffly leaning against a tree.

"I'm coming back to Kohona." Sasuke said, leaning closer to naruto with a smirk on his face "and I wanted you to be the first to know" He finished blowing in Naruto's ear softly.

"Naruto!"

"Seems its time to resume the life I left" Sasuke said grabbing the sputtering blond and making his way back to his former team.

* * *

AN

Like it? Love it? Want some more of it? Push the magical button and you shall receive a chapter!...........................eventually.


	3. Chapter 3

Un-betaed: you have been warned *cackles*

HEY HEY HEY WHATS HAPPENIN?!?!? So yeah you guys are amazing. I never

expected reviews! So thanks, they help to feed my ego. Anywhoodle this story is starting to become border line crack and I don't want to make anyone too OCC, so tell me if it comes off that way.

Oh and ill try ,note TRY, to update on the weekends. I also have another story that I have nearly finished the 1st chapter for but its Halloween themed sooooooo just tell me if you want me to put it up or if I should wait for an appropriate time

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, but I do own a Dino Chia Pet. So now for the chachachachapter *laughs hysterically at own lame pun*

* * *

Tsunade cradled her bottle as she scrutinized the man in front of her. She hadn't known Sasuke Uchiha long before he had run off with her estranged Ex-teammate, but still held a great contempt for him. This was the brat that had Naruto on a wild goose chase for years and caused heartache for everyone involved, like hell he wasn't going to get it from her. Her eyes drifted to Naruto, who was nodding off in a chair, her anger increased.

'What was the idiot thinking!' her mind raged 'If Uchiha was intent on hurting him it would be to easy, why would he pull a knuckle headed stunt like that?'

"Hokage-sama, I have come to ask if I may return to Kohona permanently," said Sasuke going strait for the jugular, "I also ask to be reinstated as a Kohona ninja, in do time of course." Sasuke stared levelly at the Hokage wanting to appear polite but not weak. The woman was obviously not fond of him, but he'll be damned before he's walked all over.

"You have some nerve you know that?" growled Tsunade, "Waltzing into my village like you never left. Why should I let you, a traitor of Kohona, live within its walls and fight among its ranks? Who's to say I shouldn't just kill you now?"

At this Naruto's eyes snapped open, "You can't!" he yelled eyes wild, he jumped out of his chair, making his way to Tsunade's desk slowly. "You can't." he said quietly, but firmly, leaning on the desk for support. 'Damn jutsu' he thought.

"And why not?" Tsunade hissed, "He is a danger, a liability, he has cost this village several high ranking missions for his retrieval, _he nearly killed you!_" She glowered at the Uchiha, golden eyes flickering with loathing.

"I nearly killed him too!" Naruto shouted, face getting flushed, "and he didn't request those retrieval missions! He deserves a second chance, I will take full responsibility of him if anything goes wrong, you have my word!"

Sasuke stared at Naruto as he defended him, and repressed a small smile, 'so the Dobe does care?' Sasuke had been developing a strange feeling towards the blonde lately accompanied by strange dreams. At first the Uchiha had attempted to ignore them and continue his life of solitude, but soon grew tired of policing his thoughts. It was then he decided to come to Kohona, at first with the intention to kill the blonde, just to get him out of his head, but felt an aching in his chest whenever he so much as considered hurting Naruto. He soon abandoned that idea and now drew a blank as to what he was going to do, and after seeing Naruto in all his glory he felt a strange exhilaration he had never experienced before and was quickly becoming addicted to. Perhaps this would prove to be interesting. Shaking his head and refocusing his attention to the conversation at hand, he focused his gaze on the Hokage once more.

Tsunade looked at Naruto long and hard, narrowing her eyes before asking in a calmer tone "Your word? Are you swearing on your nindo, Naruto?"

Naruto nodded "I swear on my nindo, that Sasuke Uchiha will not cause anymore problems or damage to this village while I'm around." He turned to Sasuke and fixed him with a glare, "So you better not, bastard." And with that he waddled away to his previously evacuated seat.

Tsunade stared in the distance, processing what she just heard and planning a course of action, finally she spoke. "Alright," she said coming to a clear conclusion, "Uchiha will be under house arrest until a scheduled hearing with the Elders, his chakra will be put on restraint until further notice. Naruto, since you have taken responsibility for him, you will be his guard, but hear this," she leveled them with a glare, "If I hear one word of betrayal, even a rumor, Uchiha will be transferred to a cell with maximum security."

With that said, Tsunade waved the two out, but not before giving the Uchiha a look of searing distaste. After they left, Tsunade sighed

"I'm going to need more sake."

* * *

Sakura stood on the roof of the Hokage tower, waiting for her newly reunited team. She chewed on her pony-tail, a nervous habit. Her mind was racing; Sasuke was back, so why didn't she feel anything? She was in love with him, right?

'No,' a voice in the back of her mind answer her, 'you never loved him, only lusted for him and his name.' She frowned at that, not likening how superficial it sounded.

"If you keep frowning like that you'll get wrinkles on your already hideous face." Sai said, plastic smile firmly in place.

"Sai," Sakura said snapping out of her stupor "is today a good day to die? If not, shut the _fuck_ up or you'll be six feet under by sun down."

"Sakura, violence is not the answer." Kakashi said airily, his orange book resting in his palm.

'Damn pervert,' Sakura grumbled internally, 'this whole fiasco hasn't even affected him. Well, at least there are some things you can count on, and Kakashi's perverseness is just one of them.'

Something caught the corner of her eye, she turned to see Sasuke slowly making his way towards them, supporting a worn looking Naruto. She hesitated, Jade eyes flashing in conflict. Should she be angry with Sasuke? He did abandon her and Naruto, and he almost killed Naruto several times.

As the battle in her mind raged, Naruto stumbled and began to fall, Sasuke quickly steadied the blonde and frimed his grip on him. Sakura smiled and moved forward meeting them half way, enveloping them both in a hug.

'I may not love either of them as I did before,' she thought, a small smile gracing her lips, 'but damn am I happy to be together with them again.'

* * *

Sasuke allowed the contact being forced on him from Sakura, slightly tightening his hold on Naruto, not wanting to have him taken from his arms for some strange reason. He looked over Sakura's shoulder to see his old sensei with his replacement. His eyes narrowed as he took Sai in, he didn't like the feeling of him. Sure, he was an emotionally stunted douche, but at least he didn't fake smile in a creepy ass way. What the hell was with the way that creepy bastard looked at Naruto, and all those comments about the blonde's neather regains? Sasuke didn't like it, not one bit.

Sakura de-attached herself from Sasuke and Naruto and looked Naruto over, before shaking her head.

"You should go home and recharge," She said, eyeing the way Naruto leaned most of his weight on Sasuke "and make sure you eat real food, not ramen"

Naruto looked scandalized. "Ramen is food!" he said, offended "Ramen is packed full of nutrition and salty goodness!"

"No way, it's a bowl full of empty calories; you may as well eat cardboard." Kakashi chimed in, never looking up from his book.

"You are all ignorant!" Naruto yelled before groaning and holding his head.

"Time to leave," Sasuke finally spoke, making his way down the stairs, 'Damn I wish I still had my chakra so I could just teleport, stupid hag.' He complained mentally.

"Hey, where are you going teme?" Naruto mumbled, the drain beginning to get the best of him, "my house is in the opposite direction."

"You're staying with me, no way are we living in your shanty of an apartment." Sasuke stated making his way towards his compound.

"My apartment is not a shanty, asshole." Naruto said half-heartedly, "and if I have to baby sit your pale ass, you better be more polite."

"Hn"

"Oh great, back to single syllables," Naruto grumbled "and here I thought we were making progress."

* * *

WHEW, well here we are! Like it? Love it? Want some more of it? Magic button~ you know the drill. Oh and thank you to all of those who sent reviews!


	4. Chapter 4

Un-betaed, you have been warned *fades into the shadows*

I'm baaaaaaaaaaack~ but creepy little girls aside, welcome to my new chapter! *holds up applause sign* So, I've decided to put up my Halloween story sometime this week, (perhaps today if I feel like it) because screw the seasons, I have…………. No money T_T. You guys are amazing, I loooove me some reviews so keep em' coming…………. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID……………………… Anywhoozle……………. *cough* yeah chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own, woe is me.

* * *

The Uchiha manor was just as Sasuke left it, empty. As he trudged along, half carrying half dragging Naruto with him, memories flooded his senses. 'That was Auntie's house, and there is where Itachi and I would beg for onigiri when mother would refuse us the ones she made, something about ruining our appetite.' He felt a smile begin to rear its questionable head and quickly quelled the urge. He had decided after killing Itachi that it was useless, and very un-Uchiha like to dwell on the past, deciding that he should salvage the few good memories of his childhood and let the past die. Still, that didn't mean he was going to be a grinning idiot.

"Oi!"

'Speaking of grinning idiots,' Sasuke thought as his cast his emotionless gaze on Naruto's un-naturally pale face.

"Hn?" Sasuke grunted.

"I need food and I don't suppose that you happen to have any cryogenically frozen in you refrigerator?" Naruto said. What did he expect? For them to restock his cabinets while he was away?

"Very astute, dickless, but that's where I come in." said a new voice, a smile leaking into their tone. They turned to see Sai walking a short distance behind them, a take out bag in his hand.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke hissed, pulling Naruto behind him a little. He wasn't sure why, but the thought of Naruto anywhere near Sai made him see red, and those comments were _not _endearing him in Sasuke's book.

"I decided to bring sir-dicks-a-little some food since you so thoughtlessly disregarded it." Sai explained, then smiled and tilted his head to the side, "You sure are a condescending prick."

Sasuke felt his Uchiha mask slip a little a twitch forming in his eye as he looked upon his replacement and his stupid little half shirt, trying to quell the urge to kill.

Sensing the death-aura coming off the Uchiha, Naruto staggered out from behind him and snatched the food form the artist's grasp.

"Sai, you make one more comment about my dick and I swear to Kami and every other deity ever imagined I will rip out your intestines and shove them back up your ass." Naruto said, cobalt eyes promising a very gruesome death.

"Well, if you just prove to me you have a dick, I would have no suspicions of your sex,"

Sai chirped, "and we all know you would be the one who would have things shoved up their ass."

Crack!

Next thing Sai knew he was on the ground with a swollen cheek and possible broken jaw, an irate blond standing above him panting. A little to his left he saw scarlet eyes with commas spinning wildly.

'That's it,' Sasuke thought, 'that perverted asshole is going to die. How dare he think of the Dobe like that! Only I can think of my dobe like tha- wait.' Sasuke blanched, 'what am I thinking? And since when is he _my_ dobe?' The Uchiha wondered for a second, 'doesn't matter any more,' he thought, 'this douche is going down.'

Before he could bring doom upon his douchey, half shirted replacement, a moan came from his right. Looking over he saw Naruto swaying, holding his head. Sasuke, grabbed the blonde and steadied him before taking what smelled to be chicken and fried rice gently from his grip. 'Whatever, the sooner I get Naruto away from this ass, the better.' And with one last death-promising glare, he picked Naruto up and carried him bridal style.

"HEY! You asshole, what are you doing!" Naruto screeched, struggling weakly and the Uchiha's strong grip.

"Carrying you, moron." Sasuke said stoically. "It's easier than dragging you everywhere and I'm sick of you almost fainting on me."

"First off, I do **not **faint, I pass out." Naruto screamed his voice getting more and more indignant, "Secondly, men should not carry other men like this, and lastly, put. Me. Down. NOW."

"Know what, dobe? I don't think I will," replied Sasuke, rather enjoying having the surprisingly light blonde in his grip.

Naruto continued to wriggle all the way to the manor, screaming oaths and death threats. All and all, it was the most fun Sasuke had in years.

* * *

"Do you think it wise to leave them alone together, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked, looking away from his book, "Especially with Naruto in his weakened state."

Tsunade sighed and took a liberal gulp of sake before sighing and continuing to stare out the window. "If anyone can make Uchiha stay," she said, "it's Naruto. Those two have a connection I've never seen before; I don't think Uchiha is stupid enough to lose it again." She punctuated her statement with a swig from her bottle, relishing in the warm alcohol running down her throat.

"Yes, those two have always had a strange relationship," Kakashi said, "It might even be stronger then Naruto's relationship with Iru- shit." Who was going to tell Iruka about this and where was the nearest bomb shelter?

"Ah, that reminds me, Kakashi," The Hokage said, "you are to tell Iruka about Naruto's whereabouts before he gathers a search party. May I suggest you do it while he's un-armed?"

* * *

Sasuke kicked the door to the compound open, dumping his burden on the dusty couch. He wrinkled his nose, tomorrow he was going to need to clean. "Stay." He ordered before disappearing into a hall way and into the kitchen to get a plate.

"Damned asshole bastard." Naruto fumed blue eyes crackling with electricity, "I'm going to get him oh yes I am."

Sasuke returned shortly a plate with the steaming food Sai had given them, he had torn apart the kitchen looking for something that was edible and un-tainted by Sai's dirty hands, but no luck. "Here," he said "eat."

Naruto glared but took the plate none the less. Quickly consuming all the food, it was surprisingly good, he finished and set the plate on his lap only to have it swiped by Sasuke and disposed of in the kitchen.

"You need sleep. Now" Sasuke said and, much to Naruto's annoyance and embarrassment scoped the blonde up and carried him to a bed room.

"Asshole." Naruto complained, but relaxed into the hold, to tired to struggle anymore.

Sasuke placed the blonde on the bed throwing night cloths in his direction, before walking into the adjoining bathroom to witness the horrors of roughly five years of neglect. Naruto changed quickly, noting the pajamas were a bit to big but comfortable none the less. Sasuke soon emerged wearing a white night shirt and his boxers.

"You ass!" Naruto sputtered, "Put some damn pants on!" A blush dusted itself on the bridge of Naruto's nose, "and why the hell are you changing in this room? Go to your own room!"

"This is my room," Sasuke said dryly, before advancing towards the bed.

"Then what the hell am I doing here?" the blond yelled blush growing, "Take me to a new room now!" Naruto demanded, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears as Sasuke slid into the bed next to him. "HEY, get the fuck out of here man! I am _not_ sleeping in the same bed as you! Take me to a new room NOW!"

"Would you like to stay in the room my parents were murdered in? Or their murderer's room?" Sasuke asked in an icy tone, Naruto flinched.

"O-Okay well then let me sleep on the couch." Naruto murmured quietly, feeling a little ashamed for bringing that up. Naruto didn't like the pain swirling in Sasukes eyes, or the haunted look he had.

"No, it's too dusty, you'll choke, your staying here and that is final" and with that Sasuke turned off the light on the bedside table.

"NO!" Naruto yelled attempting to jump out of bed. Sasuke growled and grabbed Naruto around his waist.

"Keep it up," Sasuke murmured darkly, "and I'll get the chakra restraints." Naruto stiffened at that and sighed before relaxing back onto the bed, the stress of the day finally doing him in. Sasuke kept his hold for a time before almost regretfully releasing the blonde and turned on his side. In a few moments, he was dead to the world.

* * *

Kakashi stood at the door way of Iruka's apartment, mustering up the courage to knock. Sighing, he raised his fist and rapped three times, waiting for Iruka to show. In a short amount of time, too short in Kakashi's opinion, the door was answered and the chestnut haired instructor stood before him.

"Kakashi? To what do I owe the pleasure?" Asked Iruka, smiling at the silver haired nin.

"Uh hello Iruka," Kakashi said his hand on the back of his neck, "actually I have something to tell you……."

"_WHAT!"_

Kakashi now not only had no depth perception, but now his left ear was permanently ringing as he ran for dear life.

Run! Flee! Mother Hen attack!

OH OH OH ITS MAGIC!(the button of course) press it and all of your wildest dreams come true!......................................................... but that's subject to change.


	5. Chapter 5

SORRY! Sorry sorry sooooooooorrryyyyyyyyyyyyy! Please don't kill me?*Dodges throwing knives*. In my defense swim season has started and varsity workouts are KILLING ME! So I don't need your help in that matter….. There were questions of weather or not there would be a lemon, that is a very good question. Uh maybe? I don't knooow D:

Un-bated, you have been warned, (rides off into the sunset)

Disclaimer: I don't own naruto *jumps off cliff*

* * *

The sun filtered through the dusty windows on the east side of the Uchiha complex. A shaft of light shined on a large bed, perturbing one of its occupants. Naruto stirred, more comfortable than he had ever felt before and cursing the sun for its persistence. In an attempt to regain the soothing darkness he had been engulfed in just moments before, he burrowed into the warm thing next to him, imagine his surprise when the 'thing' turned out to be a firm chest. Eyes snapping open, the blonde squeaked and attempted to scramble out of the bed, only to be thwarted by a possessive arm rapped snuggly around his waist. Naruto slowly raised his head to see the face of his captor. Sasuke Uchiha was spooning him…… and not. Letting. Go.

"PERVERT!"

Naruto struggled in the Uchiha's grip. Sasuke ,after being roused by the scream, sat bolt upright, jerking the unwilling blonde with him. Realizing just what he was holding, and just what was trying to tear his arm off, he quickly released Nartuo, who flopped gracelessly on the floor.

"What the hell dobe." He growled, forcing down his blush, Uchihas don't blush.

"What do you mean 'what the hell', Bastard!" yelled a flustered Naruto, "You were the one groping _me!_"

"I did no such thing; you were lying on my chest."

"Because you fucking pulled me there!" Naruto screamed, infuriated. "That's it! I am never _ever_ sleeping in the same bed as you. Hell, fuck sleeping in the same house as you! I'm leaving, asshole!"

Naruto got to his feet and stomped out of the room, intending to leave the house. Sasuke quickly slid out of the bed and went after him heading him off at the front door.

"You can't leave, moron." Sasuke stated, with an emotionless expression.

"Watch me!" Pajamas be damned he was leaving! Naruto shoved Sasuke out of the way and grabbed the handle, only to be pulled, for the second time that day, by two strong arms around his waist.

"You are not leaving." For some reason Sasuke did not like the idea of the blonde leaving, especially if that ass Sai is out there. He rather liked holding the blonde to his chest, minus the kicking and screaming, and wasn't about to give up his only entertainment. House arrest was boring and besides, its Naruto's mission to watch him.

"You damned bastard! I'm getting sick of you grabbing me" Naruto blurted through his blush, "If you don't let me go in three seconds I'm going to stick my foot so far up your ass, you'll be shitting sandal for a week!" The blond struggled, attempting to head butt Sasuke, but failing miserably. He gave up on that escape plan and stopped for a moment panting, he would have done a substation but he was still drained from his escapade the day before. 'Damn it all to hell! The one time this asshole can't use chakra and I'm out.' He sighed sagging into Sasuke's hold and surrendered. Truth be told, he kind of liked being held, not that he'd ever admit it.

Sasuke released Naruto's waist and instead grabbed his wrist, dragging him towards the kitchen. Once he entered, he steered Naruto to a chair and pushed him down into it, his glare promising death if he didn't stay, and grabbed the phone off the counter, throwing it to the blonde.

"I'm taking a shower, call a food stall and order something," Sasuke threw over his shoulder as he sauntered out. "No ramen, it's unhealthy and fattening."

Naruto growled, snatching up the phone. "Damn asshole, thinking that he can just order me around, ill get ramen if I damn well please."

Sighing, he dialed the number and ordered onigiri and three bowls of miso for himself. After instructing the man on the other line where to go, he hung up and set the phone on the table. There was a knock on the door followed by several impatient rings of the door bell.

'Who could that be,' Naruto wondered 'the food guy said thirty minutes or less but this is crazy.' Knock knock KNOCK KNOCK SLAM SLAM SLAM.

"Coming! Jesus….."

Naruto opened the door and quickly wished he didn't.

"Iruka!"

Shooting in the door Iruka snatched the blond into his arms. Naruto gasped for breath as the life was slowly squeezed out of him.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner! The Anbu guards wouldn't let me through I had to find a way around!"

"Can't……………breathe." Naruto gasped as the world flicked black and back.

Iruka held Naruto out at arm length and inspected him, eyes critically scanning over his pajama clad body.

"Where did you get these cloths?" he asked suspiciously. The cloths hung of Naruto's frame revealing his collar bone, and riding low on his hips. Iruka's eyed narrowed.

"What's going on?" Sasuke stood in the hallway clad in black slacks and a pristine white shirt, arms crossed across his chest.

"You! What are you doing here?!" Iruka glowered

"I live here, a better question would be why are _you_ here." Sasuke drawled, with an emotionless expression.

"I came to take Naruto and nurse him back to health after _you_," Iruka hissed the word, "drained and kidnapped him!"

"I did no such thing," Sasuke countered flippantly, "It's the idiots own fault for using a dangerous untested jutsu himself, and as for the kidnapping it's his responsibility to watch me, he couldn't walk, I carried him. So, as this is his mission I suggest that you quit harassing him."

That had to be the most Iruka had heard his former student speak. Momentarily stunned, he didn't object when Naruto was stolen from his grip, and the door slammed in his face.

"You! Open the door this instant! Naruto!"

* * *

Sasuke watched silently as Naruto stuffed his face. Delicatly chewing on an origiri.

"I seem to remember telling you not to get ramen." Sasuke observed.

"Your not in charge of me."

"Hn"

Knock, knock, knock

For the second time today someone rapt on the door. Sighing Sasuke stomped to the door, ready to tell off whoever was on the other end.

"Hello Uchiha, can Naruto come out and play?"

Don't press the button. (Reverse physiology, I'm getting fancy with you guys.)Any way, to make it up to you for my laziness, sent me a request for a story, one shot or multi chapter, whatever you want!


	6. Chapter 6

Un-beated, so flee! flee if you dont like bad spelling and grammer!

So... hi? im back? dont kill me?

* * *

_Last time:_

_Knock, knock, knock_

_For the second time today someone rapt on the door. Sighing Sasuke stomped to the door, ready to tell off whoever was on the other end._

_"Hello Uchiha, can Naruto come out and play?"_

* * *

Standing with his patented shit-eating grin, Kiba strutted into the mansion.

"Just what the fuck are you doing here Inuzuka?" Sasuke growled irritation evident in his voice.

"Ah, you wound me Sasuke." Kiba moaned, dramatically slumping into a wall, "The first time you've seen me since we were twelve and you use such language! Woe is me!"

"Dog-breath, don't give Sasuke an aneurism. Kami knows I don't want to clean up the mess." Naruto said.

Sasuke glared. Was the whole damn village going to barge into his house? And in the condition it's in! He had managed to clean some of the living room and the kitchen was decent but still. Can he have no privacy!

"Woof!"

A bear of a dog, sauntered threw the front door as if he owned the place and began to sniff everything in sight, er smell…

"Get out of here you damned dirty dog! And take Akamaru with you!" Sasuke growled.

"Ouch, biting." Kiba said, sarcasm dripping of every word.

"Why are you even here Dog-breath?" asked Naruto.

"To see if the rumors are true of course! Did you really just thorw a shit-ton of chakra around half the fire country?"

Naruto coughed "Well, uh, I wouldn't say half.."

Kiba stared at Naruto

"Idiot"

"Jackass!"

"Retard!"

"MOTHER FU-!"

"Bark!"

Everyone turned to see Akamaru, wagging his tail while directing his coal eyes at Sasuke. The dog sniffed his pant-leg and suddenly jumped to his hind legs and rapped his front legs around one of Sasukes.

And began to hump.

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" Sasuke screeched in a very un-Uchiha like manner, kicking wildly while Naruto and Kiba watched through their tears of mirth.

"Help me you idiots!"

"Hahahaha! I…. cant…BREATH!" Naruto wailed, tears streaming from his eyes, while Kiba fell to the floor.

"That's IT!" Sasuke gritted out. He then grabbed Akamaru by the scruff of the neck and, with a burst of strength, tossed him through the front door, a still hysterical Kiba soon followed. The Uchiha slammed the door on a hurt looking Akumaru and a purple faced Kiba. Now to destroy the last offender.

"Dobe" Sasuke ground out ominously to the still incapacitated blonde.

"T-t-t-teme! I'm sorry! That is just to damn f-f-f-f-funny~ ahahaha!" cackled Naruto, still bent over clutching his stomach.

If looks could kill the whole universe would be aflame as Uchiha Sasuke glared maliciously, his eyes bleeding red. Insults and oaths were careening through his furious mind and shattered pride. He'd be damned if this blonde moron would get the best of him.

With a surprised shriek, Sasuke roughly threw Naruto over his shoulder and stomped towards his room. Disposing of the blonde on the bed he then walked out and slammed the door behing him locking the door shut.

* * *

_Several hours later_

"Teme"

"…"

"Teme~"

"…"

"temetemetemetemetemeteme teme TEME!"

"What!"

"Unlock the damn door! I already said I was sorry…" Naruto whined through the door that he was currently leaning against.

"Hn"

"If you don't unlock this door I'll break it down!"

"Hn"

"I will! Here I go."

BAM

"Chakra re-enforced, dumbass."

"…"

"…"

"I hate you…"

"Feelings mutual"

* * *

Sakura walked briskly past the crowded market place, her pink hair trailing behind her. She paused at a fruit stand and browsed the merchandise. Deciding upon some rather ripe looking tomatoes she paid the merchant and even gave him a tip, feeling in a generous mood. Her team was back together again! And somehow it wasn't as awkward and strange as she thought it would be.

"Sakura-chan!"

Sakura turned to see Ino rushing towards her, smile visible from a mile away.

"I've just only heard the good news! He's back!" Ino grinned while grabbing Sakura in a hug, "I'm so happy for you!"

"Gerroff Ino, air is a necessity!" Sakura giggled

Realizing what she was doing, Ino detached herself from her best friend and linked arms.

"So big forehead."

"So Ino-Pig"

Long gone were the negative connotations of the names, now they were merely fond nicknames.

"Would you like to help me pick an outfit for my date with Lee tonight?" Sakura had finally given in to Lee's advances and they were now happily dating.

"Sure, but first," said Ino a glimmer of mischief in her eyes, "I need your help with something."

"With what, exactly?" Sakura asked suspiciously.

"Just sabotaging Shikamaru's date."

"Ino!"

"What? Tamari's a terrible match for him!"

"We are not sabotaging anything!"

"But-"

"No!"

"… Fine"

* * *

"Damn it bastard! I'm a grown fucking man and I will eat what I want!"

After several hours of banging, yelling, and whining, Sasuke had finally let Naruto out of the room and they were now attempting to order food.

Hence the yelling

"Well Dobe, if you want to shrivel up even further from the sodium from that trash far be it from me to stop you!"

"Its not trash!"

"Whatever."

"It isn't!"

"tch"

"Bastard"

There was silence for a moment. Sasuke chewed furiously on his own food, glaring at the table to see if it would spontaneously combust. He had, understandably, been rather short after the… incident earlier that day. His pride was slowly starting on the road to rehabilitation as his mind blotted out the memory.

"Look" Naruto said, " If we are going to have to live together for a few weeks we need to at least try to get along."

"Hn"

"And I need to go to my apartment to get some of my own cloths and I also-," he continued, tugging on his borrowed shirt.

Sasuke didn't particularly like that idea. He did like, however, seeing the blonde in his oversized cloths… wait, were the fuck did that come from! He didn't like that idiot in his shirts! He just didn't want Naruto to leave! He was the only source of entertainment…

Right?

"Hey! Are you listening to me?"

"Hn?"

Naruto glared, "Bastard," he grumbled, "I was saying I'm almost back to full energy so I can just teleport over there and grab some stuff, because you refuse to live in a 'shanty'." Throwing irritable quote marks around shanty. He liked his home, damn it!

"Idiot you cant leave me."

" Why not?"

"You're my guard idiot." Sasuke smirked, "besides it's late, we should go to bed."

"No way am I sleeping with your perverted ass again!"

"It's either that or the floor."

"… I hate you"

And for once, Naruto would not stand by his words.

* * *

REVEIW! I DEMAND *KEY MESH*


	7. Authors note

Hey guys… I promised myself I would never do this (I hate authors note's only chapters) but I find myself uninspired by this story… so Im putting it in the maybe pile for a while. In other, slightly less depressing news, I might start a story for How to Train your Dragon, and perhaps a new sasunaru too. I don't see any lemons coming in this (hehe coming) but who knows? Its all up in the air.


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